Advice for the waterlogged

MIKE WHITEHEAD

Ahoy.

I receive many e-mails from readers, and most of the e-mails are

questions. I thought that you might like to read some of the e-mails,

and I have changed the sender’s name to protect them from being

ridiculed at their yacht club.

Dear Capt. Mike,

We need your boating wisdom to help us with a boating dilemma. We

have a 45-foot motor yacht that we love to use for entertaining our

friends. However, many of our friends are not boaters, and their

boating manners are, to say the least, lacking. We have experienced

red wine spilled on the white carpet, clogged heads, fresh water

tanks emptied and guests not helping to clean the boat afterward. How

do you deal with non-boaters aboard your boat?

Signed,

CRUISING IN

NEWPORT’S PARADISE

Ahoy, Paradise.

I feel your pain, as red wine can be extremely difficult to get

out of the carpet without staining. Take the hint: Real boaters do

not drink red wine aboard just for that reason. As far as the

clogging the heads and water usage, you will have to explain to your

guests the proper way to flush your heads (toilets). Cleaning: Do you

make your friends clean your house after a dinner party? I hope not.

If you want help cleaning, then make that stipulation known prior to

them accepting your invitation. I have non-boaters aboard all the

time, even women wearing spiked high heels, and they always have a

great time. Of course, my deck crew, bartenders, cooks and cleaning

staff take care of all the details.

Dear Cap’n Mike,

I have not read in your columns about the proper method to use

launch ramps and how some people are so inconsiderate blocking the

ramp while loading their gear. What is the proper etiquette, and

should I ask them to get out of the way?

Sincerely,

TRAILER BOAT MAN

Ahoy, Trailerman.

Whenever I need a good laugh, I take a cup of coffee and set up my

folding chair by a launch ramp on any summer weekend morning. Goofy

not only goes sailing but tries to launch his boat. The No. 1 blunder

is people forgetting the drain plug, and then the screaming starts

when the water has risen up to their ankles. Plop, the skipper dives

over the boat’s side and feverishly tries to put the plug in before

family is swimming, too.

I have seen boats not tied down only to slide off the trailers

onto the pavement, backing down the car until it is almost submerged,

jackknifed trailers and boats drifting down the bay while the owner

is trying to start the outboard that has been sitting in his garage

since last summer.

But, back to your question about etiquette. Yes, those people who

block the launch ramp while loading or unloading gear are very

inconsiderate and probably have water on the brain. You prepare the

boat while it is in the parking lot by loading gear, removing

tie-downs except the bow strap, insert the drain plug, turning on the

batteries, priming fuel lines and discussing the launching strategy.

Then launch and immediately move the vehicle and trailer out of the

way. You can take care of any last minute details while tied to the

courtesy dock. Remember, check the tides, because at low tide, your

tires might be sitting on very slippery moss.

Cap’n Mike,

Thanks for the tips on the carbon monoxide poisoning from the

generators. I now know why my wife always has a headache after

mooring in Avalon for a weekend with me.

Signed,

CO

Think again, CO. For some reason, my wife always gets a headache

when I come home.

Capt Mike,

Don’t you talk mean about the manatees! They’re so cute.

Signed,

HAPPY DAYS

Ahoy, Happy.

Oops, sorry, but did you know they are tasty, too.

Cappy,

I thought sailboats always have the right-of-way. So why was the

crew from a tanker ship very upset and yelling at me to get out of

the way?

Signed,

CLEW-LESS

Ahoy Clew-less.

You might want to look at the photo on the front page of the Sept.

22 issue of the Log newspaper, when a 24-foot sailboat took on the

Navy’s 16,900-ton USS Coronado.

Safe voyages.