Fighting for girl power

Deirdre Newman

Lillian Contreras remembers how she felt when she became intimately

involved with her boyfriend at age 14.

“We weren’t using protection,” said Contreras, who is now 20.

“Personally, for me, I was in love. I didn’t care. I felt that

[getting pregnant] could never happen to me.”

Her parents had never discussed sex with her at home and she only

remembered a little bit of the sex education she received in junior

high, she said.

She ended up getting pregnant and gave birth to son, Christian

Santiesteban, at age 15.

Her family was supportive. And with hard work and dedication, she

was able to graduate from high school with her class.

Now Contreras works at Girls Inc. in Costa Mesa where she hopes to

share her experience with teenage girls so they can better understand

the ramifications of having sex at such a young age.

Latinas have the highest teen birth rate among the major

racial/ethnic groups in the United States, according to the National

Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

And the 92627 ZIP code in Costa Mesa has the dubious distinction

of producing one of the highest percentages of teenage pregnancies in

the state. In 2001, nearly 8% of girls 15 to 19 in this ZIP code gave

birth.

To help stem the tide of high teenage births and give girls a

strong sense of self, Girls Inc. offers a program called “Preventing

Adolescent Pregnancy,” a nationally recognized, research-based

program.

Components include “Baby, Think It Over,” designed to help teenage

girls learn about the responsibilities that can come with having sex,

and “Will Power/Won’t Power,” which focuses on being assertive in

different kinds of relationships.

The message is having an effect.

Four girls interviewed by the Daily Pilot -- Itzel Romero, 15;

Carmen Navarrete, 16; Adeline Guyenne,15; and Diana Valdez, 14 --

say their experience with Girls Inc. has given them an arsenal of

tools to help them open the lines of communication within their

families and deal with intimate relationships.

GIRLS INC. PHILOSOPHY

While saying that ideally teenage girls should receive sex

education at home, Girls Inc. Executive Director Lucy Santana

acknowledges that is not always the case.

“A lot of times, parents don’t feel comfortable or never had the

talk themselves,” Santana said.

Sex education at school helps, but is not as involved as some

parents think, she said.

So Girls Inc. tries to fill in the gaps.

Santana emphasized that the organization promotes total

abstinence, but as the girls get to be around the ages of 14 and 15,

a lot have already experimented with sex or are thinking about doing

so.

“We’re not saying, ‘Carry a condom in your pocket,’” Santana said.

“We’re saying, ‘Here are ways to be in a healthy relationship.’”

Santana pointed out a common aversion to talking about sex in

Latino households due to cultural and religious barriers.

“It’s almost like there are these understood rules,” Santana said.

“Sexual intercourse is only for procreation reasons. But girls are

growing up in a society where it’s more than that.”

Because many girls don’t have the opportunity to have frank sexual

discussions with their parents, they may get involved in risky

situations where they don’t have the courage to resist sexual

advances or are not prepared for the consequences of their actions,

Santana said.

That’s why Girls Inc. motto “Strong, Smart and Bold” is so

important and is the common thread among all the programs offered,

she explained.

And the mantra definitely resonates among the girls.

“A lot of that is becoming your own person and not succumbing to

peer pressure,” Adeline said. “And [using] protection is emphasized.”

While most of its clientele is Latina, the organization also

reaches out to other groups in the community.

SEEKING FREEDOM

The four girls have different thoughts as to why there is such a

high birth rate among Latina teenagers in the area.

Diana thinks it might have something to do with the more liberal

culture here than in Mexico.

“I think our race is back in time,” Diana said. “Parents come from

Mexico and want things to be the same, but soon girls see it’s more

free and wild [here]. So their parents trust their kids more. And so

the kids go out more and they might get pregnant because of a lack of

information.”

Itzel said it might have something to do with a lack of attention

at home.

“I think Latinas get pregnant because they don’t get enough

attention at home so they look for that outside,” Itzel said. “So the

first guy that says, ‘I love you’ -- there she goes.”

For Contreras, getting involved with her boyfriend was a reaction

to her parents’ strict attitude at home, she said. School was the

only place she was free and her relationship with her boyfriend

symbolized that freedom, she added.

All of the girls participated in the “Baby, Think It Over” program

and raved about what a valuable experience it was. The program gives

the girls a doll the size of a 6-month baby, complete with a

microchip that enables it to wail like a real baby would. The girls

get the dolls on a Friday and have to take care of them until Monday,

including feeding them and changing their diapers.

“After that, I said ‘I’m not going to be a mom until I’m prepared

because it cries and cries and cries,’ Carmen said.

In “Body Image,” girls analyze how women’s bodies are portrayed in

the media and how they are often sexualized. The class is tied into

helping combat teenage pregnancy by fostering a healthy sense of

self-esteem, no matter what the body type.

“If you have a girl who doesn’t feel 100% comfortable about how

she looks or feels and you have a boy who pays special attention to

her, she may fall more easily, thinking ‘he loves me’,” Santana said.

“So we want them to feel good about who they are.”

Only one of the girls said she has been in a relationship where

sex has been mentioned. Adeline said the confidence and communication

tools she gained from Girls Inc. helped her convey a clear message to

her boyfriend.

“I think if you communicate and ask each other where you stand and

what you plan to do and what not to do, there won’t be any missteps,”

Adeline said. “If you tell a guy, you plan to be a virgin until

you’re married, then he won’t overstep any boundaries.”

MAKING A CONNECTION

Many of the girls say the environment at Girls Inc. is conducive

to honest discussion about sex and its repercussions.

“I can’t really talk to my mom about certain things -- she’s

old-fashioned and has double standards,” Adeline said. “At Girls Inc,

they’re really welcoming.”

Contreras said she wished there had been a Girls Inc. program

available to her in Westminster, where she grew up.

“If I had known of this program when I was going to school, it

would have helped,” Contreras said. “The staff is young here and for

girls to talk to someone close to [their] age really has an

impact.... If I had just talked to a girl my age that experienced

something like what I went through, it would have had more impact.”

Most of the girls know someone their age who has become pregnant.

In Carmen’s sophomore year at Costa Mesa High School, five girls left

because they were pregnant, she said.

Carmen and Adeline support more sex education in school.

“All girls know they can get sexually transmitted diseases or get

pregnant without protection, but it hasn’t sunk in,” Adeline said.

“So I think there should be more programs to cram that into their

heads.”

The others emphasized the need for more open talk about sex at

home.

“Parents are afraid to talk to their kids,” Diana said. “Even if

they say they’re confident, they’re not.”

And it’s not just more discussion that’s needed, but putting it in

the proper context is key, they agreed.

“If [someone] says, ‘Don’t have sex,’ then you’re just thinking

about it,” Diana said. “You have to tell them why.”

WORKING WITH THE SCHOOL DISTRICT

Girls Inc. offers some of its components after school through the

Newport-Mesa Unified School District, but can’t offer the whole

program because of the district’s abstinence-only policy, Santana

said.

Classes offered include “Will Power/Won’t Power and “Body

IMAGE-ination,” which helps to develop positive body image and good

nutrition. Schools served are TeWinkle Middle School, Costa Mesa High

School and Estancia High School. Girls Inc. has also conducted

workshops at Corona del Mar High School and girls from Ensign

Intermediate School have come to its offices for classes as well,

Santana said.

Santana would like to see the district take a more proactive

approach to sex education.

“If administrators want to reduce the rates, they have to be

aware,” Santana said. “You have to be realistic. You can’t be in

denial. We don’t want our boys and girls engaging in sexual acts at a

young age ... but you have to realize it is happening and have to

provide them with information and resources.”

* DEIRDRE NEWMAN covers Costa Mesa and may be reached at (949)

574-4221 or by e-mail at [email protected].